October 29 & November 1st (thus far)

I didn't have a chance to get Friday's two paper-trades up on the blog, so here they are. It was busy and things have been upside-down after a recent death in the family. I still do some practice trading but my energy for it and other parts of life has waned some over the past three weeks or so. I am off from work today but won't be able to sit at the computer and trade all day. I am actually continuing the installation of 1400 sq ft of hardwood floor on our home's second story. I have a rented nail gun and am trying to get it done within the 7-day window on the contract. I am welcome to keep it beyond that timeframe but I really want it done by then to meet a personal goal.

So, family concerns, working the day-job, home construction, and a notable lack of sleep are all intruding on my practice-trading focus. I am hoping that time will mellow things out a bit and that the Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years holiday season won't heap too much more on my plate. ( eye-roll )

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On Friday, I took the 1/2 position long in CMG at what I thought would be a breakout area. It didn't... it drifted lower all day. I actually had a chance to get out even around 11:15 am but thought I'd stick to my "long" trade idea. Bad choice, as it turns out. The drift lower, as I mentioned above, continued rest of day.

The SWC paper-trade was a nice mistake. I accidentally clicked on it in my scanner window and activated a short-sale. As it turns out, it had been on a run-up for some time and was vulnerable to a profit-taking reversal. I added another 1000 shares short (it was a winning trade at that point) then covered for a small winner.

This morning, I saw CMG gapping up at the open. I sold the long from Friday, reversed immediately, and got another winner as the price dropped just after the switch from one 5-min candle to the next. I am done now for a while and am going to work on my floor project. I may look at the markets when I have lunch. I'm curious to see if CMG will close the gap from this morning and validate my early exit.

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During the day Friday, I had considered adding to the losing CMG trade to average a better price but didn't. (Had I done so, I would have had a number of opportunities to get out with a gain) This is an area where my trading has not matured and I struggle with it. While often able to resist the urge to average for better price as shown by my restraint Friday, I am also unsuccessful at times. They are well-documented on this blog. I think the real struggle is with admitting I am wrong. I hate it... it represents failure and I have never accepted failure. My personality is to fight back with all means necessary in order to come out on top. My ego is my single largest roadblock to becoming a professional trader. I am not a greed-based personality, I am a fear-based personality. As ridiculous as it sounds, a losing trade represents failure to me; and I fear failure. I do not truly "accept the risk," as Mark Douglas would put it.

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I also refuse to quit, and look forward to the day when I can consistently fight the weakness inside me. I am a real person in pursuit of a goal, and this is my journey.